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In the aftermath

It’s been a hellacious couple of weeks.

Not quite a month ago, the local environmental laboratory certifying body were pleased to announce that the statute revision they had been requesting passed.  According to the statute, all environmental laboratories servicing the State will follow a new set of rules, mostly concerned with documentation.  It is a national standard that these rules are based on, and Minnesota is the 13th state to adopt NELAC standard.  The rules, in of themselves, do not ensure higher quality or scientifically defensible reported results — it could be argued that as long as you document how bad your laboratory is, you could still maintain your accredited status, provided that twice a year you minimally pass analytical performance tests (and come up with an acceptable answer), and still put out low-quality data.  As long as you have procedures and policies in place to address quality issues, you are not really required to correct those issues.  I’m exaggerating a little bit, but, I admit, but the scenario I just proposed is a possibility, provided that the lab in question plays by the rules.

The kicker was, on June 3rd, all certified labs received a letter telling them that they must be compliant with the new rules within about 3 weeks.  Effective today, the new rules can be enforced.  The main problem is that the rules went from about 30 printed pages to about 150 pages of rules that affect the labs.

As an environmental consultant, I have helped out several clients in terms of improving the quality control of their in-house laboratories.    One such client works for a larger parent company who has a 100% compliance policy.  Come hell or high water, this fairly small laboratory was going to fulfill the requirements by today.

The parent company hired my company to make it happen.  And I was one of the key organizers of the effort.  WHile I wasn’t “in charge” per se, I was a primary facilitator for many of the people working on the project.  Our company provided about 30 employees — those employees put in a total of nearly 700 hours to meet this commitment.

We made that goal today.  Exhausted, but successful.  There is easily much more work that can be done on the project to fine tune all of the required doccumentation requirements.

If it took 30+ people 700 hours to bring a relatively small lab into compliance, can you imagine what a “full-service” laboratory has to endure?  Maybe not too much more effort as the core documents were already a requirement for the laboratories (Standard Operating Procedures for analytical methods),  but the labs probably had plenty of sleepless nights if they made the deadline — which I doubt.

There was an implied grace period but, because it was only implied and not in writing.  We all know that, unless it is in writing, it doesn’t exist.

I’m exhausted and I didn’t even do most of the work.  I delagated and answered questions and organized to keep us from walking all over each other.

To be honest, this event had the potential to be one of the worst things that could happen to me or one of the best things.

Stress levels were high and stress is never very good when you are trying to break old habits that were an intregal part of you coping mechanism for stress…

I might have fallen flat on my face with my recent choice to embrace sobriety, but I didn’t.

Sure, there was more than once that a little voice inside me was telling me that one or two beers wouldn’t be such a bad idea — but I already know where that would lead…  So, I ignored that voice and plugged on.  It is somewhat liberating to have gone through a high stress period without relying on alcohol to sooth my nerves.

Of course, I’m keeping the Coca Cola Company in business with my consumption of diet Barq’s, Sprite, Coke and Nestea….  Still, that’s zero calories compared to my intake of 1000-2000 calories each night.  Not as bad as the other option.

But the biggest thing is that I am now 21+ days sober and not terribly inclined to go back.

Guess the stress was a good thing, because it proved that I could handle it without a beer at my side.

Flash Fiction Submissions Posted

I have posted the flash fiction pieces that were not selected in the recent competition on my other site.

They can now be viewed at Dormouse Confidential.

No official notice, but

It doesn’t appear that any of my flash fiction submissions “won”.

What Light Poetry and MNLit Flash Fiction Contest Winners

Bummer.

Try try again.

In Dry Dock

Well, I might as well come clean and not be so damned cryptic.

For the past 8 1/2 days, I’ve been dry.  I hesitate to say that I am sober, mostly because I think it takes a while for the effects of regular alcohol consumption to leave your body.  This may sound like a paltry number of days to the casual reader, but it is significant for me.  I don’t think that I’ve gone for more than 3 or 4 days without some form of alcohol consumption for the past 12 years or so.  And those periods of drying out were rare at best.

All that in of itself might have been okay, except that I frequently drank much more than the recommended 1-2 drinks a day.  In the past year, my consumption has increased.

The past few years, I’ve been aware that I was developing a problem with respect to alcohol.  Aware, but unwilling to admit that it existed.  I justified my consumption levels with my depression, my rheumatoid arthritis, the level of stress in my life.  Never once did I admit that it was a problem.  I could always find a way to poo-poo the suggestion; I could quit anytime I wanted, I would declare.  If that was true, I did very little to prove that I could quit or, even, moderate my consumption.  While I may moderate for a few weeks, I eventually found myself drinking to an abusive level.

Last Wednesday morning, shortly after I woke up, I finally admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic and that my drinking habits had become unmanagable.  I decided to quit drinking cold turkey.

I never liked the label “alcoholic” — it was for people with no willpower as far as I was concerned.  That didn’t apply to me, did it?  I could slow down or stop at any time — as soon as I finished this beer…  It’s also a lifetime label.  I dislike permanent labels, anyone can change.  But, I am finally forced to admit that “alcoholic” is a label that fits me.

I’ll probably express more on the whole sordid business as time goes on; this subject has been the theme of the thoughts that consume me for the past week and I have plenty to say.  As dreary and boring as the matter is, I think I need to write down my thoughts in order to move on to more optimistic thoughts.

I was hesitant to commit myself to declaring this news — part of me still secretly wanted to be able to have a beer now and again and to make such a statement as “I am an alcoholic” pretty much precludes being able to enjoy a beer on occasion as (people look at you disapprovingly once you’ve assumed such a label).  I don’t think that I should give that part of me any hope of realizing it’s little dream, so I am making the statement public.

Wish me luck.

A lot in the noggin

I haven’t been posting much for a while now.  While there have been a number of reasons since the postings deminished, the most recent excuse has been because I am doing a large amount of thinking about a particular subject — trying to remain focused on my resolve regarding the matter.

It’s not always an easy thing to do, maintain resolve.

But I am steadfast for the time being.

Once I get my head on straight, I might share the things rumbling around in my head.  In the meantime, I may be somewhat distant until I can feel certain that I can stay the course.