There’s nothing like having drama in your life.
I haven’t written much about it because I don’t want to sound like I’m making excuses for myself. Today, I feel compelled to write about it though.
What is “it”? A few months ago, I decided that I needed help with overcoming my emotional hurdles. Over the past year, give or take, I’ve been having an emotional decline that has gotten progressively more and more out of hand. It finally reached a point in which I couldn’t take care of myself anymore, so I sought some professional help.
Over the course of my talks with the counselor, he eventually came to the conclusion that I have a condition known as dysthymia, or a chronic depression. Somewhat skeptical of the diagnosis (I’ve heard many diagnoses over the years for my “problems”, none of which included this term), I did my own research and decided to seek a second opinion. My family practice doctor immediately came to the same conclusion. To compound the situation, I am having some more pressing issues I am facing…
I’m finally getting the help I should have gotten long ago. Not that it has been an instant success, but I am generally gaining ground with my issues. There have been a few bumps in the road (as evidenced by this weekend’s sudden an inexplicable decline), but I do feel as if progress is being made.
Of course, there has to be additional difficulties… It can’t be easy for this guy!
To add to an already difficult situation, I have a good friend that I care about who is having her own problems. Even though I am having my own situation to deal with, the caretaker in me wants to help her out, namely because her situation is escalating to a point of self-destruction. Unfortunately, she can’t decide if she wants my help or if she’s okay imploding. So, I’m torn between helping her out and going even deeper into my own problems via neglect or refusing to throw a drowning person a line in order to save my own skin. Insert proverbial rock and hard place image here… Either way, the choice is bad.
And so… the drama unfolds and the play begins. Kali or Shiva?
The laughter from an amused audience says it all.